


It's Nice To Have A Friend

by notalone91



Series: LoserFest 2021 [12]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Based on a Saturday Night Live Sketch, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Mess, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Oblivious Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Mess, Roommates, betty is really more of an oc, you kinda just have to go with me here lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:13:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29391774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notalone91/pseuds/notalone91
Summary: Eddie is finally getting to spend some quality time with his girlfriend.  That is, until his roommate gets home.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Betty Ripsom, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: LoserFest 2021 [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2138544
Kudos: 25





	It's Nice To Have A Friend

**Author's Note:**

> Day 12: Based On A Taylor (or related) SNL Sketch - Roommates w/ Taylor Swift, Nasim Pedrad, and Andy Samberg

As he settled in on the couch, Eddie snuggled in to his girlfriend's side. "I’m really glad we managed to get together tonight, Betty. I mean, you’ve been so busy lately. I was almost ready to take out a missing person's report," he joked as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and kissed her neck.

"I know. I'm sorry," she said, wincing. This thing with Eddie was new and she still hadn't gotten a good bead on him. Partially, though, it came down to the fact that she hadn't really given him a full chance. "Are you sure you don’t want to go out or anything?" she asked, hoping to make it up to him. 

"I’m sure. As long as we get to spend time together, I’m happy," he said, smiling fondly. He reached past her to grab the remote. "You still want to watch Master and Commander?"

Betty had a better idea. She wrapped her long fingers around his wrist and bit her lip. "Or we could play Master and Commander."

That was something he'd been waiting for.

At all of 26 years old, Eddie was still a virgin. By then, he found himself in a catch 22. Before he got to that point, he wanted the person to know. Once people knew, they didn't want him anymore. Then, the search began anew. 

"Ooh, I mean, I don’t-" he stammered.

Before he could make a total fool of himself, a key rattled in the lock. "Is that your roommate?" Betty asked, deflated.

He gave a simple, "Yeah," trying to ignore the thudding in his chest that happened every time he heard those keys.

The door swung open wide with a thud. A backpack dropped haphazardly the floor. A pair of ratty red Chucks were unceremoniously kicked off long legs into The Pile by the door. From the hallway, his roommate's voice carried along with the thudding footfalls Eddie would have known anywhere. "Spaghetti?!" He called out.

"Trashmouth!" Eddie called, springing from the couch and leaping into his roommate's arms. "You’re home!"

"I am! I missed you so much!" Richie whined, spinning Eddie around quickly.

"I missed you too!"

"I don’t ever want to leave again."

"Don’t! I love you so much."

"I love you! You’re my everything!"

"You’re my world!"

Watching their reunion unfurl, Betty sat utterly befuddled by their interaction. "Oh, were you out of town, Richie?" She knew they were close, but this… this was on a whole nother level.

"No, he was at work. Stupid Starbucks," Eddie sneered, ripping the green apron out from Richie's back pocket and tossing it on the ground. 

Unaware of Betty's stunned expression, Richie added with a groan. "I know. They’re the worst! It was a whole 6 hour shift, too!"

6 hours, Betty thought. Richie had been gone six hours at a retail job and that was the response he got? She'd hardly gotten a hug and a peck from Eddie, her boyfriend, who she hadn't seen in two weeks. What was the deal?

"I hate them so much. But at least you smell like coffee and cinnamon and dreams," Eddie rambled, tugging the taller man down onto the couch with them.

Not with- Between. 

"No, I smell like burnt milk and expired acai," Richie grimaced. Then, as if struck, Richie seemed to acknowledge that they weren’t alone. "Betty!" he wailed, to the tune of Bennie and the Jets.

"Hi, Richie!" She groaned.

Displeased with her blasé response, he tried again. "Betty!" he screeched again, ruffling her hair as Eddie reached across to squeeze her hand excitedly. "What are we watching?"

"Master and Commander," Eddie answered, then needled him in the ribs before he could make the same joke Betty had, "but not until you get out of those work clothes!"

One last time, giving it all he had, Richie hopped out of the couch and laid into the most over the top Elton he could muster. “Bettaay!” he belted.

If nothing else, it got a laugh out of Eddie. “Okay, hurry! Go, go, go!” he said, swatting his ass as he walked away.

“Okay, I will!” He stuck his tongue out petulantly and winked. 

Richie didn’t get more than 3 steps away before Eddie had hopped to his knees and was reaching over the back of the couch. “No, don’t go!”

He laughed, reaching the staircase and taking each one at an exaggerated pace. “I have to.”

Extending his arm over-dramatically, he whimpered, “Wait. I’ll miss you!”

“I’ll miss you more!” he called in a dramatic, mid-atlantic accent. 

“Don’t go! Stay!” Eddie mimicked, sounding more like a long-lost Aussie than anything else.

“I can’t.”

“You can.”

“I shan’t,” he groaned, draping himself over the bannister. 

Near his breaking point, Eddie called a stronger, “You must!”

Betty stared at the floor between her feet, eyes wide. She didn’t think she could even pretend to like anyone as much as it was clear these two liked each other. Eddie was hot and all, but, Jesus!

“Oh, you can’t make me do anything!” Richie teased, grandiose facade dropped in favor of a schoolyard playmate.

“Bet me, dickhead,” Eddie laughed, finally giving in to the ridiculous nature of their greeting. He knew it was a lot, but it was just their way of showing- totally platonic- affection.

Richie snickered. “I bet you,” finally reaching the top, he turned into his bedroom, then ducked his head back out and sniped, “Loser.”

“Nooo!” he wailed as the door closed. Immediately, as if nothing had happened, he rocked on to his side and draped his arm around Betty. “Isn’t he cool?”

A puff of air escaped her lips. Her friends called it her steam valve. It was easier than blowing her top over something stupid. “Oh, he’s something,” she agreed. She glanced up the stairs, then shook it off, snuggling into Eddie. “Have you thought about, I don’t know, maybe getting your own place?”

With a nod, Eddie admitted, “Kinda. Yeah, I mean-” An old song from Sesame Street blared from his phone. “I’m so sorry, I have to take this,” he said, taking his phone from his pocket and answering it. “Hello? How are you? What happened?” He shook his head and leaned forward. “No, I’m just sitting here-” Sensing the what the actual fuck, Eddie vibes Betty was radiating, he turned to her, placing his hand over the mic, “It’s Richie.” She gave a sarcastic nod and he furrowed his brow. “Yeah, she’s right here,” he answered, before mouthing a quick What?

“Is he calling from his bedroom?” she asked, astounded by this man. 

Eddie shushed her, then went back to his phone. “I’m sorry, what was that? I miss you, too!” Betty rolled her eyes and leaned back over the arm of the sofa trying to ignore her boyfriend’s conversation. “Are you comfy yet? Then why aren’t you out here, come on!”

“Seriously, Eddie? I thought-”

Eddie laughed, then replied, “See you soon, goon!” He turned to Betty and stated the absolute obvious. “That was Richie. “

“Yeah, I know,” she scoffed. “Do you, I don’t know-” She cut herself off with a sigh, then looked him up and down. Giving it one last try, she said gently. “You seem distracted. Do you maybe wanna go hang out at my place?”

“Oh. I don’t know. Richie just got home. He’s probably not gonna wanna go anywhere,” Eddie said, pointing up the stairs behind him.

Before Betty could make a sound, Richie was pounding down the stairs in a ratty old skate shop T Shirt that looked like it must have been ancient with a Marvel comics blanket tied around his neck like a cape. “Look who brought snacks!” He gestured to the giant barrel of cheese balls under his arm, then tossed them to Eddie.

Eyes wide, Eddie caught the barrel in his arms and bear hugged it. “You’re the best! I fucking love you,” he laughed. 

Richie slid into the corner of the couch and draped his legs over Eddie’s. “Do you want some blanket?” he asked, covering himself and Eddie quickly, tucking the edge in before realizing that they weren’t alone. He tapped his foot against her and crooned, “Betty!! Betty!! Betty!! Want some blaaaaaaanket?”

Pushing it off of her and sending Richie’s legs off of Eddie’s lap with a thud, she huffed, “No, thanks. I’m okay.”

Without missing a beat, Eddie popped his legs up across Richie’s, turning his back to Betty entirely. He wrapped his arms around Richie’s neck and whined, “I missed you! You should quit your job!”

“I want to so bad,” Richie answered and let his head loll back, clocking himself on the end table. He rubbed at the sore spot for a moment before Eddie pushed his hand away and took over.

Eddie laughed. “You’re the only person I want to hang out with.”

Jaw hung slack, Betty loosed an offended, “Hey!”

“Hay is for horses, Betty!!” Richie sang. This time, Eddie joined in.

They were unbelievable. “No, this is…” she looked at the two of them, tangled up and howling altered lyrics together and couldn’t come up with a word for what she was actually feeling, so she sniped out a sarcastic, “cute and everything.” Apparently, “cute” was a trigger word for some ornate ritual between them that involved cheek pinching and tickling and Betty decided that she wanted no further part of it. “Guys! Look, I love that you guys are so close and everything. It’s so sweet that you’re all like, open with each other and everything. But I thought that tonight was just gonna be about us hanging out,” she said, trying to convey her point to Eddie without suggesting directly that Richie needed to take a hike.

It seemed as though the thought had never even crossed his mind. As though when she agreed to dating him, she had agreed to dating both of them. “Oh. Huh,” he mused, glancing quickly between the two of them.

Richie, however, understood. “No, no, I get it. I’ll um…” he swallowed, realizing for the first time that Eddie may actually have meant it when he said that he was dating Betty. He thought he was exaggerating. A little put out, he shook his head and stood, dragging his blanket behind him. “I’ll go back to my room.”

Hands gripped firmly on the blanked, Eddie whimpered a pathetic “No!” 

Richie shook his head, then cautiously looked past him at Betty, who nodded gratefully. That stung. “Eds, it’s fine,” he said and turned away, giving his blanket another tug.

Unfortunately, Richie didn’t remember that Eddie was the tug of war champion for their school’s Pride day 12 years running. The boy was like a dog with a bone when there were absolutely no stakes. When, on the other side, was his favorite person in the whole world walking away, he would be having none of it. “No!” He gave another yank and pouted, mentally screaming stay.

“Eds, just let go,” Richie said, choking his grip instead of choking up. He looked away and pulled hard, bringing Eddie onto the floor with a crash.

Unwavering in his determination, Eddie dug his foot into the corner of the sofa and took the whole thing with them toward the steps. “Richie!” he called, in an over the top Brando that, under other circumstances, wouldn’t have been half bad.

“Don’t make this any harder,” Richie said. He gave a little sniff and locked eyes with Eddie. Betty felt a charge zip through the room, like she had just witnessed some intimate telepathic connection she shouldn’t have been privy to. And suddenly, she got it. It was weird to her because it wasn’t weird to them. 

An ache started in her chest. She liked Eddie a lot. She did. But she didn’t love him. At least not yet, thankfully. Richie did. And Eddie may have liked her. Maybe even as much as she liked him. But that was nowhere near as much as he loved Richie. 

As she watched Eddie watch Richie go, all she could think was how stupid they both were. What would have happened if she wasn’t the type to react the way she did? What if she was a little less rough around the edges than she was? All in all, though, the most prevalent thought in her mind was how lucky they were to have found each other.

Eddie still sat on the floor, his knees tugged up to his chest, staring up towards Richie’s bedroom. “What’s wrong?” he barely heard her ask.

He didn’t get it. His girlfriend wanted to spend time with him. He should have been thrilled. Why could he only think about how much he wanted to be with Richie? He had obviously disappointed and hurt his girlfriend. Why could he only think of how horrible Richie must be feeling and how desperately he wanted to fix it? “Nothing. He’s just…” The pained expression he’d worn before turning up the stairs replayed over and over in Eddie’s head as he turned around and headed for the couch. “He’s a really amazing person, that’s all.”

Betty nodded, then took Eddie’s hand gently in her own. She looked at their entwined fingers and shook her head, bemused. “You wanna hang out with Richie, don’t you?”

“No. No, this is fine. I’m totally fine with this,” Eddie answered, pulling her closer and sounding 100% Not Fine At All.

Realizing what she had to do, Betty nodded. “If it’s that important to you-” she directed her gaze up the stairs and nodded encouragingly.

Eddie’s jaw dropped. He looked at her for confirmation and she nodded again. “Great! Hey, Richie, come down here” he called. Preparing herself, Betty stood up and took a step away.

“Hay is for horses, Spaghettihead!” Richie yelled, clamoring down the steps two at a time, then sliding down the bannister. He jumped over the arm of the sofa and into Betty’s vacated seat with his head in Eddie’s lap. As if on instinct, without any decision of his own, Eddie’s hands wound into Richie’s hair. 

Betty shook her head. It was like they’d done it a thousand times before. She leaned down and picked up her purse. “Look, I’m gonna go. But, um. Eddie, can I talk to you?” she nodded toward the door.

Feeling the petting stop before engaging his brain, Richie whimpered, “No, wait-”

Wanting nothing more than to stop the insanity before it started, she looked at him and put her hand up. “Richie. I’m breaking up with Eddie and I would like to do it without you surgically attached to him.” Mouth wide and eyes comically large behind his coke bottle glasses, Richie leaned up to let Eddie follow. 

Head hung low, Eddie did as he was bade and followed her onto the porch. The pair stood under the yellowed light. Eddie tried to avert his gaze, feeling terribly guilty. “Look. It doesn’t matter, but answer me honestly. Are you and Richie sleeping together?” She tugged her purse up onto her shoulder and peered at him as though she meant to see into his soul.

“No! What?” he spluttered, shifting awkwardly as he took a step back. “He’s my roommate and he’s my best friend. But no, nonononono, he’s straight,” he assured, then realized that Richie wasn’t the issue. He was. His girlfriend was breaking up with him and asking if he was gay in the same sentence. “I’m… I’m straight.” He said, shaking his head quickly and stepping back, bashing his shoulder into the mailbox, then hissed out a “Fuck.”

Betty laughed genuinely. That type of reaction was what had endeared her to him in the first place. “Don’t hurt yourself,” she snickered, reaching out to touch his forearm and guiding him away from the protrusion.

Still struggling to keep his composure, Eddie babbled, “I’m straight. It’s not like that. We’re-”

“Desperately in love. Like, crazy, stupid in love.”

The worst part was how stupid she felt that she hadn’t realized it before. Betty prided herself on being able to read people. Guess she wasn’t that good at it after all.

“No, it’s not…”

Just in time, the elevator dinged. She walked down the steps and turned back to him, then leaned her hip against the rail. “Tell him.” Eddie started to splutter again. She steeled her gaze and folded her arms. “Tell him or I will.” Realizing that Eddie was in full on crisis mode by then, she shook her head. “I know your psyche can handle it. I don’t know him that well past this type of shit, just…” She looked back at the door and waved vaguely in its direction. “Figure it out. What you’re looking for is right in front of you. And, how convenient, you already live together so that when you end up obsessed with each other, it’s just that much easier.” With a final, pointed shake of her head and a kiss on the cheek, they said their goodbyes and not a single tear was shed.

Eddie watched her go, then sat on the front steps. He had thought that maybe- just, maybe- if he dated girls long enough, he’d finally want to date one. His mother’s voice rang in his ears, a constant reminder that his attraction to boys made him sick; that it was an affliction. Something to be cured. But with Richie, it never felt that way. Not once. From that fateful day in kindergarten to sitting on the couch tonight. Even among their friends, they hardly had separable personalities. It was always RichieAndEddie. For as long as he could remember. Even when Ben and Bev eventually became BenAndBev and Mike and Bill became MikeAndBill and Stanley finally found Patty and became StanAndPattie… it was always okay because he always had Richie. And it wasn’t by default. He had chosen it. And, on some level, he knew Richie had chosen it, too.

He could only hope he wasn’t wrong.

Shivering off his nerves, Eddie stood up and went back into the house. It seemed bizarrely quiet. Fitting, he supposed. Richie had turned off most of the lights. That was probably for the better too. 

When he finally made his way into the living room, Richie sat up immediately. “I’m sorry. That was my fault. I’m so sorry. I can just…” he pointed upstairs, meaning to go if Eddie needed him to. 

Once again, Richie’s mouth had fucked up something it wasn’t meant to. He looked up at Richie and pushed away all of the thoughts and feelings he wanted to spill. It wasn’t the right time. It wouldn’t have been fair. But, God, if only he could bring himself to, he would tell Eddie how beautiful he was- in any light, but especially half shadowed like he was then. He would tell him that getting to come home to him was the best part of his day. He’d tell him how much he wanted to be able to hold him all the time. He’d tell him how hard he’d cried when Eddie had started dating some girl from the school paper and how relieved he’d been when they broke up and how guilty he felt that he was relieved. He’d tell him how that cycle repeated with every girl Eddie’d ever dated. And he’d tell him how jealous he was of each and every one of them. 

Instead, he started mumbling nonsense about joining the circus and becoming a clown if that was still a thing or moving in with Bill and Mike and staying out of his way. He was so busy self flagellating that he hadn’t even noticed Eddie sit down on the couch next to him.

“Can you-” Eddie folded his leg under himself and carefully analyzed Richie’s face. “Can you stop talking for a second?”

Richie swallowed thickly, then nodded. “Okay.” He took a deep breath, then turned to mirror Eddie’s posture.

Before he knew it, Eddie had leaned forward and, with one hand tentatively on Richie’s shoulder, the other on his waist, kissed him. Once the shock wore off, Richie brought his own hands up, one on Eddie’s back, pulling him closer, the other on his jaw, holding him steady. He felt Eddie melt into him slightly and hummed approvingly.

When they finally broke apart, it took a moment for both men to regain their senses. Finally, Richie spoke first. “Can I talk now?”

“I could never stop you, even if I wanted to,” Eddie laughed.

Richie nodded. That was fair. He tried to ask a couple of different questions, then failed, leaving his lips pursed ridiculously so that Eddie had to fight the urge to kiss him again. “What was that about?” He managed, eventually. When Eddie started to clam up, he quickly grabbed his hands and straightened himself out so they were flush side by side. It was easier if they weren’t facing each other. “I’m not complaining, but that was pretty out of nowhere.”

Leaning his head on Richie’s shoulder, Eddie glanced up at him, then back down. “I just love you, okay?” He stopped, thought about what had led them to that point, then added, “Like, more than my best friend type of love you. Like, actually love you.”

It was a little hard for Richie to think when heart was no longer pumping blood. Eddie had just said he loved him. He tried to coach himself to be calm, then gave the worst response he could ever have landed on. “Okay.” When he realized that his response had nearly broken Eddie, he added, “One more thing?”

“Of course,” Eddie said skeptically.

Realizing that, maybe, this was the start of finally getting what he wanted, Richie smiled. He tilted Eddie’s chin up and kissed him again. “I love you, too,” he said, before rolling him back onto the couch and kissing him over and over again, making sure that there was no room for interpretation

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't decide if Eddie's ring tone for Richie was [I Love Trash](https://youtu.be/rxgWHzMvXOY) or [But I Like You](https://youtu.be/t9AAJvQnUTQ)
> 
> So it's definitely readers choice.


End file.
